Women’s sexuality isn’t even recognized by society at large beyond our utility to men so like, idk why the hell “straight passing privilege” needs to be added on to remind us of this. Like, I think it’s pretty clear that the idea already IS that we must all be “secretly” straight and cis and hungry for procreation, cause the world must revolve around Manhood forever.
Which is part of why I believe a lot of lesbian women report that they are “treated like bi women” and still pursued by men. It’s not because of “bi for attention” women or whatever the hell we’re gonna yell at women for doing - it’s because men feel fucking entitled to bodies they designate as Woman because that is ultimately an integral piece to how one is supposed to “be” a man.
I just think “straight passing privilege” glosses way the fuck over this reality and just gets flat out insulting to a point, especially when people really will literally tell women, especially girls, that we can’t possibly have a sexuality that is not connected to men and their sexuality. You stay “straight passing” as long as patriarchy can find a way to weasel itself in with no regards to consent.
I’m not saying we all pass as straight - but I AM saying that it’s not inherently and always a privilege. Unless you are straight, and can fully benefit from the experience of being received as straight in life and having that perspective. Constant self policing and poor mental health is not beneficial, so the “straight passing” idea does shit for bisexuals and the “LGBT” at large besides ostracize us for, y’know, being bisexual basically.
People already refuse women the right to self-determination over their sexualities. We’re not supposed to have them for ourselves, and definitely not with each other, and when you’re bi while with women, people really wanna work hard to make sure you know that your affections are disingenuous and make your sexuality with other women about men and your apparent subservience to them.
Maybe one day I can get this into more coherent phrasing, but for now I’ll let this sit here in case I never follow up on writing a better thing.
Bolded for emphasis. Thank you for writing this!
your gay friends are all talking shit behind your back 100%
Yeah, you support them all the way.. We’ll most of the way.. We’ll some of the way.. Clearly not as far as marriage.. Cause marriage ain’t for gays.. Or something
You hear so many of these people say, “I have a lot of gay friends but don’t believe in same sex marriage”, but you never hear gay people say “I’ve lots of friends who think it should be illegal for me to marry the person I love”.
So, here’s a PSA for everyone who is against marriage equality, but thinks they have gay friends. You probably don’t. What you have are gay acquaintances who have learned to quietly put up with your bullshit because it’s the path of least resistance and they just don’t have the energy to “My Fair Lady” your ass into being a decent human being.