It has been a really long time since i’ve let anyone make me feel inferior just because of my sexuality, but tonight when driving one of my new college friends home I briefly mentioned ‘my girlfriend’ in conversation and suddenly felt the atmosphere go a bit tense.
I calmly asked my friend if she had a boyfriend and she replied “no, I am allowed to sort of date but I guess it is frowned upon in my religion so I don’t and wont have a boyfriend until I decide to get married.”
WHOA THERE WASN’T EXPECTING THAT. (I guess I should have seen something coming as earlier in the day she had told me that her family do not watch television and prefer to do more old fashioned activities (which is totally cool and at the time I was almost jealous of)).
I asked her if she was homophobic and she basically said ‘no, but it is your choice to live that way and therefore it is your own fault if people treat you differently for it.’
I think her first words were “I’m not scared of gays” when I asked if she was homophobic.
No you’re not scared, but you are completely close minded to the fact that it is not actually a life choice, but more a way of life.
I kept explaining that ‘no one would choose this in their right mind, it can be extremely difficult’ but she just kept saying well that is fine because thats how you want to be. NO ITS NOT THOUGH OH MY GOD.
I then gave up and dropped her at her house and zoomed off.
I hate myself for feeling embaressed for who I am, and I hardly ever let peoples opinions of me get to me anymore, but since she has been a nice friend up to now, I actually feel quite uncomfortable. I don’t know how people can be so close minded in the country that we live in. People have serious struggles everyday just trying to live the life that makes them happy, all because some people think it is their business to have an opinion on how others should live.
What is normal anymore? Maybe I live a more ‘normal’ life than you?
It’s really nice that she has a religion that she truly believes in and that it does make her happy, but I do feel she also needs to accept the world she is living in. I wouldn’t ever push my beliefs on someone. Wow.
Go on, just be completely yourself for one day, I dare you.
My brother got married yesterday. And I am so happy for him, so happy for their happiness together, but it slices a little piece of my heart everytime it is brought up.
It just makes me want to cry because I see how differently his relationship has been treated and respected by my whole family than mine ever was, is, or ever will be. It breaks me.
And despite everything that happened at the beginning when I came out to my parents - despite the hateful and hurtful things that were said, despite the wildly inappropriate things that were asked, despite me no longer being acknowledged as a part of the family, and despite the years of homophobic remarks prior to that …
I have never had more resentment in my heart for my family than right now.
Confessions of a half dyke: This breaks my heart since this is so honest. So many of us have been in this same place or in similar situations. This is why I love my glbt family so much. Their love is way more unconditional than some of your biological family members’ love. My heart goes out to you queer hippie, it really does.
I honestly never thought this phrase was cool. When people say this, they (knowingly or unknowingly) perpetuate the stigma of homosexuality. Due to covert and overt forms of heterosexism, you almost never hear anyone say “no hetero”, and besides, it wouldn’t be offensive, in part because it, unlike “no homo”, wouldn’t be magnified by heterosexual privilege. It’s not funny, it’s not a joke; I get offended when I hear it.
Confessions of a half dyke: I have said to opposite sex friends (both gay and straight) No hetero as a joke to the few that would understand that it was a sarcastic joke. However, I rarely hear no homo or that’s so gay anymore. I think that’s positive. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and people are maturing or maybe it’s because of the people I choose to surround myself with or maybe (hopefully!) the world is becoming more enlightened.