Evening, Feel free to disregard this. I’m using the fan mail system because, well, the asks are far too short. I didn’t intend to hop onto Tumblr and rant at people, either directly or indirectly, but when I saw ‘/rant’ in your announcement to your new followers, I couldn’t help myself. I’m really struggling in dealing with my straight friends right now. The ones who don’t and can’t know about my sexuality or my relationship. It seems at least one or a handful of my friends are getting married, having babies, or adopting. I can get married- sure. A bible wedding. Most of the people around me won’t want to take part. I suppose I can get new friends. It’s just hard to see them all happy, or announcing relationships, betrothments, or marriages and see everyone dog-pile onto their post to say a quick ‘congrats’. I have a feeling when I do so people will start spouting holy water and telling me I’m going to hell. I want children, but I can’t just go, “whoops!” like my other friends. Sure, it’s a bad spot to be in with a baby you’re unprepared for, but at least you don’t have to go into debt to even get started on a family! God, I know I need to shut up. I’m really sorry. We really don’t talk, but I figured, perhaps since you’ve managed to get married you can tell me to sit down and shut up. I’m usually not this volatile but there’ve been a disgusting amount of posts by friends and family lately- including seriously homophobic comments and I’m afraid that my carefully constructed charade of being straight is going to be strained to it’s breaking point soon. I don’t want to burden my girlfriend with this because she’s probably just as petrified as I am. Thank you for your time, and for reading what is essentially a typed out panic attack. —
Confessions of Half Dyke: Coming out was the hardest thing I ever did. I was with Geri when I officially came out, but for the most part I was alone in the whole process. I am very lucky because I didn’t loose a lot of friends. Not that they were all that supportive at first, they had their own issues to deal with, but eventually it all calmed down. I just came to the point where my life and my (now wife) were more important than their world and their feelings. It can seem so daunting, but I was to the point where even if everyone left me, friends, family etc than I was ok with that and I was strong enough in mind to handle that. The coming out process was the most intense period of my life, but it taught me the most and made me grow the most. I feel like that is the point where my friendship with myself blossomed. I would NEVER EVER go back. I really hope you can find the same peace. It’s hard to want something so bad and have others “flaunt” it. BTW, it’s ok to rant sometimes. :) It’s safe here to rant.