Watching We Were Here, made me think about glbt and the concept of family. In the late 1970’s and the 1980’s (and even into the 1990’s and early 2000’s) many glbt people flocked to areas where being glbt was the norm, ie. San Francisco. There they made surrogate families. I think there still are those migration patterns, but I wonder if the glbt “family” still is as powerful as it was twenty thirty years ago. Being glbt is more accepted in 2012 then 1982, without a doubt. And a person who is 15 in 2012 coming out is more likely to have a blood family support group than a person in 1975 coming out. It’s interesting to see how the second (and starting soon the third) generation of out glbt people shape society. Will there still be a glbt family? Will people still say “partner?” etc 

I don’t think these things are “bad” or “good”, just interesting.

I’m very very curious to know…What does everyone think?  ?

In many ways, we’re just like any other family, which is to say that we’re special and in love with each other and stressed out and hopeful and tired and just trying to do the best we can to raise a little person into an adult with qualities that we value. And perhaps this is where we are different from some other American families. The quality we hold above all others is compassion—for other people, animals, and the self. How that “undermines the family in society” or could cause Avie trouble “learning right from wrong,” I’m fresh out of ideas.

queerhippie:

My brother got married yesterday. And I am so happy for him, so happy for their happiness together, but it slices a little piece of my heart everytime it is brought up.

It just makes me want to cry because I see how differently his relationship has been treated and respected by my whole family than mine ever was, is, or ever will be. It breaks me.

And despite everything that happened at the beginning when I came out to my parents - despite the hateful and hurtful things that were said, despite the wildly inappropriate things that were asked, despite me no longer being acknowledged as a part of the family, and despite the years of homophobic remarks prior to that …

I have never had more resentment in my heart for my family than right now.

Confessions of a half dyke: This breaks my heart since this is so honest. So many of us have been in this same place or in similar situations. This is why I love my glbt family so much. Their love is way more unconditional than some of your biological family members’ love. My heart goes out to you queer hippie, it really does. 

rainbow-wishes-raindrop-kisses:

Support. <3

My younger cousin texted me today asking what year did you come out? So I told her. She said she was giving a speech on gay marriage and was using me as a reference. I don’t know if I ever told her I was bisexual and not a lesbian so I told her. She said, “I figured. It doesn’t matter either way. I love you.” I’m so proud of the person she’s becoming. 

neverendingcitylights:

[rant] I hate how I have to be labeled. Also I HATE having a roommate (but more on that another time). But seriously. I hate having to apply the label bisexual to myself.

Partially because so many people don’t believe in such a thing. They believe you’re either one way or the other. You can’t be both. SO many times I hear that bisexuals are either ‘confused’, ‘whores’ or ‘gays who haven’t come out’. And it doesn’t help a lot of gays DO use the term bisexual when they’re coming out.

The problem is, I don’t think it’s just a ‘phase’ for me.

And I’m honestly confused about which I like more. Guys or girls. Some days I say guys hands down. Other times I say girls. But I don’t really know, to be honest. Ever since discovering this second side to myself I haven’t been with a girl.

Maybe I AM fully gay. And that’s my fear. That I’m totally just gay, and no bi and I could never get married to a woman and have children.

But I’ve been very intense emotional and sexual relationships with both girls and guys. And I like BOTH. I’ve met a lot of gays who had ‘girlfriends’ before they came out, but they always said it didn’t work physically.

But then I hear stories about gay men that didn’t come out until they were married with 3 kids, and I’m just wondering, does my PASSION for that ‘perfect’ family (families are perfect no matter the parents), and a wife and kids and being socially accepted….does that PASSION keep me from being gay. LIke is all the thoughts about women just….that desire for that. Making it all false? I don’t know. Apparently gay guys can force themselves to make it work with women….

But I’m not sure if that’s what I was doing. I don’t … think it was. I can’t imagine that EVERY physical encounter with a girl I’ve had was forced. Because my last girlfriend turned me on physically to a level I can’t explain. I would almost lose control with desire and lust and passion. And that lasted over a year. That physical passion for her. Emotional too. It was both.  But I though that made me straight until I found a guy I could have a physical and emotional passion for as well.

And that severely confused me, until someone mentioned the fact I could just be bisexual. I said the idea was absurd. Bisexual’s didn’t exist. You were either straight or gay. Bisexuals were just whores or people who were confused, or gays who were hiding from the truth. That’s literally what I thought. Close minded of me. So I freaked out about being gay, but I justified to myself I was straight with curiosity because obviously I didn’t fake that physical part with my last girlfriend.

But I was so confused about it, until I finally accepted the fact, that ONE, maybe there is such thing as bisexual, and TWO, maybe that was me. That was scary. Finally accepting myself as bisexual rather than straight or gay. 

And I HATE being bisexual. I don’t CHOSE to be bisexual because it’s ‘easier’. It’s not. Because I don’t feel I can come out to people. If I say I’m bi and I’m currently dating a guy, they’ll just assume I’m gay. And if I’m dating a girl and I say I’m bi, they’ll just say she’s a cover up and that I’m gay. Which is entirely stupid on BOTH aspects.

I hate it. So why tell my parents? WHAT do I tell them? “Hey, I like sucking dicks and licking a girls vagina.”

No. That’s not even actually true. On either accounts. I don’t particular care for giving oral. I don’t MIND it, on either way, but I don’t particular care for it, on either a guy or girl. But I LOVE giving hand jobs and I LOVE fingering. I don’t even know why, but that’s what I DO love. On both. I love grinding against the pelvis of a woman, or the hard boner of another guy.

I truly do enjoy both.

But if asked normally, which one I’d go for, I wouldn’t know. They’re both kinda gross, as weird as that sounds. Like dick? Ew. Vagina? Ew. Haha. Neither of them really just appeal to me as a thing by themselves. 

Which leads me to think it’s more emotional than anything. Because ALL my life, I had never had a crush on a guy. I had only had crushes on girls and by having a crush on a girl, led me to WANT to do physical things with her.

With guys, it was nothing. The only thing was, that the IDEA of doing stuff with a guy didn’t turn me off. It was an intriguing thought to me. A “I wonder” moment. Which was apparently weird, so I kept the fact that the ideas of guys didn’t bother me, to myself. 

And then I fell for a guy. Emotionally first, then super physically. And I was like, “Woah.”

So now, thinking about it, neither dick nor vagina really turns me ON, so much as the power of a relationship with a person.

If I connect emotionally with a person. REALLY connect with them, and FALL for them, then I don’t GIVE a shit what’s in their pants. I’ll do both gladly. I guess that makes me bisexual, but idk. I wouldn’t say I LIKE either of them more than the other, so much as I just don’t MIND what you have as long as you connect with me emotionally.

[/rant]

ilike-lovegirls:

I come form a HUGE family, all Mexicans.Usually, well at least from my experiences, the Latin culture is very traditional and rarely accepts the gay community. Where ever i go, the dirty looks i get were from older Mexicans. I’ve been with this one girl on and off for a while, its been two year. My dad loves her and so when we heard about this family party, he invited her.. We got all dressed up and went all the way to San Fernando. The party was amazing. I introduced my Girl as my “amiga”(friend) to the older people, like my aunts and uncles, but to my cousins i introduced her as my girl. I was dressed up like i always dress up for parties(Dress shirt tie, and 501 Levis) The only people that looked at me funny were the family friends, people I’ve never seen. my family was pretty cool. After a while me and my girls got more comfortable and started dancing. we held hands and hugged.One of my aunt took me out to dance and asked me about my girl. i guess she knew9i mean im sure everyone knows, i have her on Facebook as my gf) and she asked me why i never came out to her. i told her it had taken time but that now that im out, i don’t really see the need in coming out to people one by one…so then we talked about how its hard for different generations. And that’s when she told me..Her best friend, wasn’t just her friend. her and her Girlfriend had been going out for 12 years!:O …that conversation will forever change my relationship with her. i feel like we got alot closer…later that night she brought up this guy and introduced me. i introduced myself and then i introduces my girl as my GF.he then told us his name and my aunt was like, he’s also-and he interrupted”im gay, and that’s my boyfriend over there”.. it was an amazing night///him and his boyfriend didn’t dance together but they seemed so happy dancing with the family..it was a fun night. =)im still tripping out haha its crazy how people so close to you can be going through so much and you don’t even know it. i wish it wasn’t so hard and people didn’t have to hide who they are, but it makes me happy to see that people can go through this and still live a happy life.

caydenmichael:

Her mom found out that she was gay because of her old laptop. Well honestly. Her mom is a bitch. She gave her the laptop and left without discussing anything else or saying I love you. Her dad didn’t even get out of the car. This fact disappoints me most because I expected her mom to act like that. Her mom yeah she has her moments, but for the most part doesn’t treat Ali right. Her dad however, I had hope for him. She told him she was gay and he said he would love her no matter what. To not get out of the car to hug her or say I love you or to even fucking defend her pisses me the fuck off. You two are her parents. You two raised her and just because she is pansexual you’re really just going to fucking treat her like she isn’t your daughter. Well, fuck you both. She will be 18 on the 10th. And you know what I don’t give a shit if you cut her off because I’ll get a fucking job and save every fucking penny so when I graduate I can be there for her. I can go to college and work my ass off to get through school while paying bills and shit and helping her out if I have to. You two are her family, but I’m more of family to her than you two because I wouldn’t drop her. I support her no matter what her decisions are. I will fucking defend her. I will defend her through thick and thin no matter what the fuck happens. Even if we broke up I would still never just fucking drop her. I’d still help her no matter what shit happened. It is sad when I respected her dad so much and I was able to at least be civilized with her mom and that shit just went out the fucking window. Grow the fuck up you two. You have the most amazing, smart, talented, all around phenomenal daughter and you don’t even fucking see it because you’re to narrow-minded to accept her for who she loves. I love her. I LOVE HER. I don’t care if it hasn’t been long. I don’t care if people judge me because I fell fast. It is fireworks with us. We have that spark. We have that connection. So fuck anyone who can’t understand or accept us. I will be there for her. I will do what it takes to help her succeed in life and I will do what it takes for us to last. She has her brother and me. If her parents can’t accept her than their the ones that are missing out on the greatest fucking person ever. I’ll get a job. I’ll do what it takes. I’ll support her. I’ll be there for her. And I will NEVER fucking judge her or drop her like you two are fucking doing. I’ll be the boyfriend she can count on. And you know what?! One day I WILL be her husband. I will marry her whether you approve or not. Because I love her and I will be a better family than the family you are being to her right now. She is my girlfriend and my future wife. I love her with all my heart and soul. So just deal with it and get your act together and be fucking parents instead of ignorant judgmental people. She loves you. She wants you to just support her and accept her. Why does who she loves have to fucking change everything?

Confessions of a half dyke: You’re a good person.